


Betray the Moon as Acolyte

by laceaesthetic



Category: Dimension 20 (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Character Study, F/F, Not Canon Compliant, Unresolved Romantic Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-03
Updated: 2020-12-03
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:20:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27850730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/laceaesthetic/pseuds/laceaesthetic
Summary: Sir Amanda Maillard, knight of House Cruller, Queen's Champion, had a quiet childhood in Muffinfield. The Ravening War would upset that fragile balance, sure, but it would also grant her a great boon. A boon in the shape of meeting one Calroy Cruller.In the great chaos of war and coups, the story of one knight (and what could have been) was forever lost.
Relationships: Amanda Maillard & Calroy Cruller, Amanda Maillard & Donetta Cruller, Amanda Maillard/Caramelinda Rocks
Comments: 3
Kudos: 9





	Betray the Moon as Acolyte

**Author's Note:**

> Non-canon compliant things:  
> -We never get a full age on Amanda so I imagine her slightly younger than Calroy  
> -Donetta is innocent, had no idea about Calroy's plans  
> -Amanda also went on the trip to Comida  
> -Calroy is a humanoid.

The footsteps of Bulbian knights were natural, the squint and leer in their eyes as they approached Amanda was not.

“State your name, knight, and what business you have, at once,” one demanded.

“I am Sir Amanda Maillard. Knight of House Cruller. Champion of Queen Caramelinda Rocks. I’m guarding the door of Lady Donetta Cruller, here at the request of Lord Cruller.”

Another knight scoffed, “You best learn to take off that last part of your title, Sir Maillard.”

“I don’t think I quite understand what you mean.”

The knight who spoke to her first outright glares, “Are you loyal to Cruller?”

“Of course,” she says on instinct.

His glare turns into a wicked smile, “House Rocks has been excommunicated, but House Cruller brokered a deal for its safety. You’re safe, good knight.” Without another word, the group marches away, snickering to themselves, all façade of holiness having slipped.

The words have barely processed in Amanda’s mind before she’s throwing the door she was guarding open. Donetta, clothes scattered about and in the middle of packing, turns a poised head towards her, confused but unsuspecting of anything going wrong. Slowly and quietly, she locks the door behind her and clutches her spear.

“What do you know of Calroy’s allegiance to the Pontifex?”

Donetta frowns for a moment before answering, honestly, “Well, he’s sworn to be Bulbian just like any other good Candian. I don’t know if he has any sort of personal relationship with the Pontifex, I don’t think they’ve met in person before at the very least. Why do you ask?”

Amanda feels the weight of her golden weapon in her grasp. She flips a coin mentally. Tails. Donetta is safe to trust, and if she isn’t, Amanda is more than capable of taking down her frail figure. She answers in a low voice, “House Rocks has been excommunicated. I think the church is starting a crusade against Candians.” She watches Donetta drop a pink dress she was holding in shock. That was her favorite dress to wear for special dinners in Castle Candy.

“What do you mean? Should we leave?” A sudden horror crosses her face, “Is Calroy in danger?” The open worry in her voice, the sudden tinge of fear for _Calroy_ , makes Amanda loosen her grip on her weapon.

“No, I… I’m not sure what Calroy has done, but I believe he’s bought us our safety. Knights came through the hallway. They let me be when I said I was loyal to House Cruller.”

Donetta, sweet but always rough on the uptake, becomes confused at this statement. “Well, Cal has always been the sort to wiggle out of any situation. Do… do you think he’s trying to find a way to buy King Amethar time?”

Amanda, Calroy’s most loyal knight who has seen him in ways Donetta never has, shakes her head. She approaches Donetta, slowly and cautiously. Donetta doesn’t flinch, having trusted Amanda with her life many times before. She places a large hand on her lady’s dainty shoulder, “No, Donetta, I think he’s betrayed House Rocks.”

She watches Donetta’s face morph into a horrible expression of pain as tears begin to form. She begins to mumble rejections, weak and half-formed, before collapsing in Amanda’s arms in grief.

Amanda had joined the war once it began. She was younger than Calroy by a year or so, for Calroy had been waiting his whole life for a war, and she had merely been lucky enough to be born just early enough into the spring to be of age when all hell broke loose. Both she and Calroy were lucky enough to serve in Amethar’s cohort. Though in hindsight, she often wondered if luck had anything to do with Calroy’s place.

She never tried to ingratiate herself with the prince, though she found an odd liking to Calroy. He never gave her an odd look for being such a young woman on the frontlines. And well, once Calroy liked you, it was only a matter of time before Amethar liked you as well. She never did speak about the shoulder touches that would last too long, never spoke on the way Calroy would lean against Amethar and sigh softly. She assumed that it would be spoken about after the war, and well, so much changed when the war ended.

She liked Amethar, though. He would pat her on the back after a hard-won battle until she coughed up the taste of her last meal and only look half-sorry about it. She once saved him out on that field, though she never mentions it. Calroy, the usual prince-saver, was on the other side of the field neck-deep in Ceresian soldiers. She supposes that’s why Amethar was hardly paying attention when he got sliced in the gut, his eyes were turned to watch Calroy effortlessly fight his way out of certain doom.

Unluckily for him, the fledgling prince had not yet built the stamina he is known for in the present. The nameless soldier had moved to bring his sword out and up, almost succeeding in forever marring Amethar’s face were it not for Amanda’s dive to shield him. The sword had clunked off her graham cracker shield, and Amanda made quick work of the enemy. So quick was her work that Amethar was still wearing an expression of amazement when she turned to face him, though he broke out into a wicked grin once she extended a hand towards him.

It seemed natural, then, for Amanda to dine with Calroy, who insisted that the prince’s savior dine with them for the evening. Funny was it though, how Calroy refused to give up his seat next to the prince and how Amethar’s other side was taken up by Manta Ray Jack, ready to fight anyone who came near just for a good laugh. So, there she sat, on Calroy’s other side eating in mostly silence.

“Where are you from, soldier,” Calroy asked after a soft sip of beer. She noticed that Calroy had not finished his first glass yet. She was on her second and Amethar and Manta Ray were well into the throes of inebriety.

“Muffinfield,” she says automatically. She notices the way Calroy’s muscles tense all at once and then slowly go back into motion one by one. She decides not to mention it.

“Have you heard of what has happened to poor Lady Donetta?”

“No, I don’t think I have. I visited her father once, I asked to be a squire. He turned me away and said that he had no need for protection, especially from a young girl.”

Calroy smiles a little wistfully at that, nods a little understandably, and a little mystically replies, “You erred on your request, a page is the first step to knighthood not a squire. The late Lord Cruller, however, made an error in passing on your offer. I think you would make a fine knight, Amanda.”

That is the first inkling of the true Calroy she ever sees.

She talks with them over dinner often after that, nights filled with remarks and comments that she cannot call forth to mind on command. However, she ends up somewhere else entirely on the battlefield at every point. Strange in hindsight, normal when experienced. She had never made it her duty to become the prince’s royal guard—he already had one—and both Manta Ray Jack and Calroy often fought to end up on Amethar’s remaining side. She fell back in line behind them, always sent to pick off soldiers a world’s away. It was not until halfway through the war that her small homelands were mentioned once again.

“Amanda, you’ve been an honorable asset to the war and our cohort for these long years,” Calroy starts, filled with formalities.

The s’mores soldier raises an eyebrow, “Are you going to fire or promote me?”

Sensing her distaste for his tone, he quickly lets out a joyful laugh, “Nothing of the sort, I’m not _Amethar_ , for Bulb’s sake. No, I wanted to propose to you a… job offer.” She raises an eyebrow, signaling for him to continue. “I can see your potential Amanda. I want you to be a knight for House Cruller, _before_ Amethar whisks you away to be a page under the royal family. He’s already talked about considering you for after the war—”

“Wait, Calroy, you said House Cruller? Do you know Lady Cruller?”

He gives a mischievous smile at that as if he were letting her in on a most cunning plan. It would be the first of many conniving smiles directed to her. “Why, Amanda Maillard, I am _Lord_ Cruller.”

That was her second inkling of the true Calroy.

She had told Calroy to let her consider it, he had waved her off and said the position wouldn’t be open until after the war anyways. She was still a necessary asset to them, he had said. She often wondered if that meant he still needed to keep a close eye on her.

Shocked or not, she was no fool. Calroy was very close to Prince Amethar and being a knight of House Cruller could very well mean being a knight employed by House Rocks often. She didn’t take a long time for consideration, though she did wait a week to tell him yes. He was quite pleased with her response. He bore a close-lipped smile that Amanda would come to learn was a smile he made when he had won something. Amethar, upon hearing the news, let out a hearty laugh and raised his pitcher of ale some more.

“You beat me to it, Cal,” she remembered him saying.

Spirits were high for all that year, but the late peppermint winter would bring awful news. The closer it seemed that the war would end, the more casualties arose. Great generals, soldiers she comforted on the battlefield, Amethar’s sisters. How could she have known, when she told Calroy yes, that she would turn from a knight of a friend of the very youngest sibling of General Rococoa to a knight of the Master of State for Castle Candy, a knight for the most trusted advisor of _the king._

She wasn’t sure how to approach Amethar the night that Lazuli died. Calroy was there though, head bowed towards Amethar’s shaking figure. He met her gaze when she tried to approach.

“Amanda sends her regards as well,” he told Amethar, just loud enough for her to hear. She knew that she was dismissed.

She wasn’t sure how to approach Amethar the night that Sapphria died, or Citrina, or Rococoa. But each night, she took some shaky footsteps toward him, met Calroy’s gaze, and was dismissed once more.

So, there she was when the dust had settled. Picking out her most treasured belongings in her childhood home, saying goodbye to the always stuffy air of Muffinfields. When she said yes, she had imagined visiting Castle Candy when Calroy was given an invitation, she had not imagined being offered a room to live in it. It was dizzying, it was intimidating, it was… weirdly flattering? She knew not if the Bulb had wished this for her, if it was her ‘destiny,’ or if she had just managed to pick that perfect deck of cards.

Castle Candy, with its multiple floors and multiple wings, was quite easy to get lost in for a newcomer. She often found herself on a far away wing right before dinnertime. Of course, this meant she often found herself being late for dinner, only making it in time for the last drink. Stumbling around was a new pastime for her. It was where she met Caramelinda.

Of course, she had _met_ Caramelinda before, at the few dinners she had managed to attend on time. But the queen was always far away from her. On the other side of the table, chairs apart. It didn’t make for good conversation.

No, this Caramelinda was not Caramelinda Rocks, Queen of Candia, it was Caramelinda, the woman who had to deal with her husband’s messes. She had a bundle of papers nestled in her arms, and her usually braided hair was put in a low ponytail, the waves now free to spread out. She looked a little funny without her usual regalia, or rather, funny wasn’t the proper word. A softer beauty seemed to spill out of her when she wore no jewels upon her frame. It made Amanda’s throat dry up a little, she tried to clear it.

“Queen Caramelinda, I’m so sorry ** _—_** “

“What are you doing here?” Though the royal jewels were absent, her voice carried the authority of a queen.

“I was just lost,” Amanda answered honestly, for there was no point in hiding the truth.

“Lost?”

“It’s a big castle, I’ve never really lived in a place with two floors even.” She tried not to flinch at how flimsy of an excuse it seemed to be.

But Caramelinda, tall and mysteriously beautiful, did nothing but laugh, a boisterous, almost unroyal, thing. “Yes, I got lost often when I first moved in. I forgot how difficult it could be to really learn your way around.” She gave a small smile to Amanda then, “Come, let me escort you to the proper wing for dinner.”

Thus, was the start of many escorts back to the dining hall, even when Amanda had learned to memorize the proper path through the foreboding hallways. She couldn’t help it, for she was out of the castle more than in. Out on duty, in battle, on a mission with Calroy ** _—_**

Calroy was… an interesting lord to serve. For he almost always left her right outside the carriage, right outside the door, right outside the woods before walking off to whisper to his hidden conspirators.

“Stand there and look tough, Maillard,” he would say with a wink. He always liked giving Amanda those conspiring winks when his back was turned to others. It took her some time to learn how to not smile when he did, lest she give away their faux conniving. Loyal to an absurd degree at times, she kept her shoulders high and her expression fierce. There she stayed, silent as a statue until he walked back to the carriage and gestured for her to untense.

Some days he would have that same close-lipped smile he had when Amanda first agreed to be his knight. She would always ask what got him in such a good mood. He would always have the same response.

“The work of a lord is rather boring Amanda. Let it be known that you’ll have the next week off in celebration of the meeting going right, but nothing more.”

Other times, he would march back to the carriage, a scowl present and a growl forming but half-stuck in his throat. It wouldn’t be until their carriage was well into its journey back home that he would make a show of stretching out every tense muscle in his body and then giving a dejected sigh.

“The meeting was a bust,” and with a teasing smile, “you didn’t look tough enough Amanda.” That was always the signal that everything was normal, a rotten meeting was merely a hitch in the road.

There was one meeting, with some Ceresian senator whose name now escapes her, that was far from normal. They were stood in a private pavilion, respective bodyguards just out of earshot, but within sight. Amanda wasn’t sure exactly had happened prior, but their words became fierce, and the senator lunged when Calroy made a dismissive gesture. In a strange unison, Amanda and the senator’s bodyguard, some pompous penne she never got the name of, ran up towards the fight. There was no need, however, for the two figures were in a vicious stalemate, knives at each other’s neck and teeth bared.

Amanda remembers the way Calroy’s eyes were filled with anger and bloodlust before a smile crossed his face. “They do not call King Amethar The Unfallen for naught, dear senator. You can kill me where I stand, but my knight will make quick work of you and your lackey both, and when she brings news of what happened here to him, I reckon he may wage war once more.” And that was that. The senator gave a slow, deliberate step back, and Calroy rolled his shoulders. “We are done here. I recommend Ceresia bring someone competent the next time they would like to deal with me.” He turned and walked away, not stopping to watch for a reaction, Amanda hurrying behind him, desperately trying to keep up the act that she knew what had just occurred.

That was her last inkling of the true Calroy.

The journey home was mostly silent. Calroy was lost in thought until he whipped around to stare at Amanda. “You will not speak a word of this to House Rocks,” he commanded. Amanda could only mutely nod. He closed his eyes as some hidden emotion passed through him, before sighing and giving a small smile. “Amethar would be beside himself with worry. I wish to relieve him of any unnecessary stress.” And Amanda, who wished more than anything to keep her job and her life, convinced herself that Calroy told the truth.

She wasn’t taken along on a mission with Calroy for a long time after that. She didn’t mind though, exploring Castle Candy had become a nice pastime for her. Over the years, the castle truly became her home, though she knew little of what lay outside of the wing in which she dwelled. She did, however, knew enough to find her way back every dinner now. It was much easier to find the dining hall with the twins a little older now, for they would run around the halls complaining of their hunger, and their bossy little footsteps made sure that everyone found their way to a hot meal.

But if she ignored all distractions, closed her eyes and let herself wander, she found herself in the same few comforting rooms, bumping into the same few comforting people. For whatever reason, she enjoyed watching the squires and pages train in the training yard. She had never been given formal training and watching the younger pupils train gave her a way to imagine what it could have been like. Though, seeing how often Limon would fall into tears made her a little thankful for her unconventional promotion.

She liked the library the most. She was literate, which was more than the king could say, but she had never been well-versed in fanciful prose nor in the concentrated language of the law. She had always thought her sturdy hands would merely help her sow jellybeans the rest of her life, so she had never given reading much of a thought. She supposes it’s quite lucky of her to end up a knight rather than a chambermaid, she was never much suited to fashion and waiting upon noblewomen.

But still, she had picked up some literacy from childhood friends with lofty dreams, and she cherished it dearly. Whenever she could, she would reach out for a large tome and merely run her fingers through each page, picking up words she could recognize and staring at ones she didn’t. The feeling of a book in her hands had always been comforting to Amanda. Then, of course, if she stayed in the library long enough, sometimes Caramelinda would stroll in.

Amanda didn’t like to interrupt the queen, who always seemed to be on official business, so she kept her head stuck to her book whenever possible. However, Caramelinda would often take breaks, letting out a sigh of frustration, and her eyes would peer up and around the room and there she would spot Amanda, all on her lonesome. That was how most of their conversations started.

They talked about a great deal of many things, Caramelinda was always so interested in her unconventional journey to becoming a knight. When the nights ran late, the queen would sigh at her books and talk of the late Archmage Lazuli. They never talked of the king much, except for when Caramelinda would complain of one of his latest blunderings.

“You are a rather exceptional knight, Amanda,” she remembers Caramelinda say.

“That’s what they tell me, Your Highness,” Amanda replied.

A dry laugh escaped the queen’s lips, “I reckon. Have you been on many missions with the Knights of North-Gumbia?”

“A few, my queen.” It was a fairly common occurrence, for Candia was a rather small country and manpower was always needed.

Caramelinda’s piercing gaze meets her eyes, “Amanda, you shall be my champion.”

“Your champion? But I really haven’t done any feats worthy of such a title.”

“Nonsense, Amanda!” A wide smile covers her face, “You have become my friend, and that is a feat that is not won lightly. I prithee, will you not fight for me the next time you are in battle?”

“I… Yes, Queen Caramelinda, I would do so with honor.”

The look on her face was worth a thousand missed dinners.

Those nights in the library were where Amanda saw Caramelinda, not as wife or as queen or as parent, but simply herself. A woman with a wit sharp enough to cut through your soul, but a heart big enough make room for Amanda within. That was the plain truth of the matter, wasn’t it? That the queen had to keep room in her heart for her family and husband foremost, and if it were to shrink then Amanda would be forced out first. It would be inappropriate of her to misconstrue the way Caramelinda would let her hands linger over Amanda’s, or the soft gaze she always gave when Amanda told her of her latest mission.

Indeed, it was already inappropriate of Amanda to lay awake in her bed and wonder how warm Caramelinda would be when lying next to her, or when she would whisper the name Cara ever so softly alone in her room, that was highly preposterous of her, for only the king ever referred to her as such. It was a fool’s folly, for a marquis’s knight to dream of courting the queen.

And yet.

Caramelinda seemed very physically affectionate.

Whenever she would put her book down, her hands wandered to Amanda’s. The queen made it a point to lean in close to speak with the knight, and on more than one occasion she could have _sworn_ that Caramelinda’s gaze lingered on her mouth. She tried to convince herself that it was a mere delusion, and yet the delusion haunted her dreams. Many a morning would she wake up, neck warm from an illusioned Caramelinda wrapped in her arms.

Of course, two decades of peace had spanned and the king and queen had only ever produced their initial twin heiresses. She was observant, not very hopeful but observant nonetheless, and though they always stood proudly next to each other, the royal couple never embraced in public, nor kissed, nor held hands for long periods of time. It reminded Amanda of how Donetta and Calroy acted, or well rather how _Calroy_ acted towards Donetta. She had noticed Amethar be more affectionate with male diplomats, seasoned knights, traveling merchants, than his own wife.

She had always wondered, for a moment, if perhaps there was a way to confess her hidden attraction towards Caramelinda, had even thought of announcing it to her when returning from Comida, and well ** _—_**

Well, here they were now. Excommunicated if she stands with her king, liable for treason if she stands with her lord. Again, she gave a silent thankful message to the Bulb for not making her a chambermaid, for she had no idea how she would have fared if she was expected to comfort Donetta in any more capacity than allowing her to cry on her shoulder.

Uncomfortable with any other option, she begins to form a plan. She makes Donetta continue packing, instructs her to wear one of her nicer outfits, and then steels herself for the most draining voyage she’ll ever make.

Amanda is not hardwired for flattery and deceit; she is used to the cold and truthful nature of battle. Still, not much deceit is necessary to traverse Comida, Calroy had laid down the foundation nicely for her. Imperial guards would approach her, having orders to apprehend every Candian they could find, and with the same practiced importance of twenty years of service, she would give them the same line.

“I am Sir Amanda Maillard, most trusted Knight of Lord Cruller, escorting Lady Cruller at his behest.”

And the Red Sea would part.

Finding a caravan to take them was a lengthy endeavor, Amanda didn’t want to ride on a group acting under the orders of Calroy, lest he already thought one step ahead of them. Still, there were plenty Vegetanian groups that that now had a destination for Candia. It didn’t take long for the other passengers to gossip on how Lord Cruller would be waiting for them at Castle Candy. From there, it was an equally long process to convince the head of the caravan to make an unanticipated stop at Muffinfield to drop Lady Donetta and her escort off. Long, but not as difficult as it could have been.

The trek is fine, no assassins waiting on the roads, no mastermind secretly riding with them. Donetta is not fine, she keeps up the appearance of unaffected when in front of others, but Amanda sees the way her shoulders shake when they’re alone. She can only hope that refuge in Muffinfield can give her time to process how her world has changed.

Settling down once they finally reach Muffinfield is perhaps the shortest point of the process, for Donetta still had her birth-given sway over the lands. It was easy to convince the mild-mannered servants of House Cruller that there was no need to alert Castle Candy to their safe return, that the caravan will do so for them, and to merely let their lady rest.

Watching Donetta break once more when she’s finally in her personal quarters is perhaps the hardest point. She shakes and shudders and blubbers and ruins her pretty dress with her sugar tears, until she’s cried out long enough to finally form words.

“The Cruller name is ruined,” she sobs.

“I rather the name is destroyed than your life, Donetta,” is all Amanda knows how to respond with.

“Do… do you think we will ever be able to clear our innocence,” Donetta asks, her big eyes already threatening to spill over again.

The sight makes Amanda’s own throat constrict, and she takes off her armor breastplate, anticipating a long day of hunching over to hug Donetta.

“I don’t know,” she replies, truthfully, because she doesn’t know what else to say.

Donetta wails again, rushing into Amanda’s arms. The last hold of her emotions breaks away, and Amanda cries with her. Donetta, ever so loyal to the crown, mourns the loss of her home and safety. Amanda, only ever loyal for convenience, mourns the loss of what could have been her first love. There they stand, unaware of what will come the next day but aware that they must face it together.

**Author's Note:**

> Title taken from "Sunlight" by Hozier, shoutout to Sam for calling it a caramelinda song.  
> twt: spideydevil616  
> tumblr: gardensofeve


End file.
